Furuba Story or Something
by monkeybait
Summary: LEFT UNFINISHED It's Role Model Week in class 2D. Who will the students pick to study - especially little orphan Tohru? Behold the strange wonder that is my mind. monkeybait's sister
1. Role Model Week

**I don't own Fruits Basket or any of the characters. The closest thing I have to owning them is reading their manga books and writing this fanfiction about them. Otherwise, they're Natsuki Takaya's. **

"'**Ha ha ha! Good one! Moving on.'"**

Chapter One: Role Model Week

"Alright, everybody shut up." The whole class turned to face the teacher questioningly. As usual, Mayu was having a cruddy morning. The garbage spilled all over the floor in the night and the neighbor's cat attacked her while she was taking out the garbage. Then they cooed and said, "Aw, does Fwuffy wuve the nweighbor?" Mayu muttered something about Fwuffy dying brutally in a hole before making her morning coffee, which somehow set on fire and nearly burned the house down. But this story isn't about Mayu. So let's continue with the REAL story.

The class continued to look at Mayu questioningly, which they had been for a while now.

"Alright, everybody shut up." Mayu didn't have to say it, but it was kind of fun. She laughed slightly at herself. Everyone blinked. "Starting tomorrow, it's role model week. Everyone has to bring in someone they idolize, whether a parent, guardian, or someone you're close to or have known for a while. It cannot, however –" and she glared at Uo when she said this –"be some random guy down the street you've never met. Most likely, it should be someone you're related to. Any questions?" Three people raised their hands. "No? Good. Then talk amongst yourself or something while I sit over here and drink my flaming coffee."

The class blinked in unison but didn't question their teachers' actions, as they were their teachers actions and they were usually unusual. They started talking amongst themselves.

"I'll just do Shishou. Problem solved." Kyo leaned back in his chair. "What about you, Tohru?"

Tohru got all sweaty. "I-I don't know… My parents are dead, my grandpa is bedridden, and the rest of my family is either far away or doesn't really like me… You guys are like my new family, but I don't suppose I can do students…?"

"Do you really idolize THEM, Tohru? You might as well idolize a hobo," Uo laughed. Kyo's temple throbbed in his head and Yuki sighed.

"There's no way I'm doing MY parents, and no WAY in HECK am I doing Ayame," Yuki growled, remembering all the unpleasant memories of Ayame jumping on him unexpectedly and his high-pitched "ha ha ha!"

"I'll just do Megumi," Hanajima said monotonously. "After all, he's being wearing black for me since he was three. He really knows how to keep a habit."

"Dude, can you really do little brothers?" Uo asked.

"I don't see why not. Who are you doing?"

"Me? I'm doing Earl!" Uo shouted cheerfully, taking a heroic pose. Kyo gave her a weird look. She waited for everyone to nod and turn away. Thing was, no one knew who Earl was. "You know Earl!" No, they didn't. Just get on with it, Arisa. "The dude I play pinball with down at the pizza parlor! On Sundays! I've known him since I was thirteen; that's good enough."

The bell rang. Had they really been talking for seven whole hours? Well the school day was over, anyways. So everyone got up and left.


	2. The Random Chapter

**Well, chapter two is on the way. I don't own any of the Fruits Basket characters, but if I did I'd rush up the story line so I can find out what happened. But please nobody tell me in the reviews!**

**Also, I'll have various Avatar the Last Airbender quotes before I begin each chapter.**

"'**Food ATE people!'"**

Chapter Two:

"Aw, but Yuki-kins! Why WOULDN'T you want me to be your role model?" Shigure sobbed as they walked in the door.

"I can think of a couple hundred good reasons," Kyo muttered. Yuki sighed.

"Because despite the fact that you give us a place to stay, you're useless and lazy. Let's face it. Everyone condescends you."

"Boohoo, Yuki, don't use big words Shigure doesn't know!" Shigure cried.

"I'm sorry, Shigure, but we aren't allowed to use people we haven't known for a while. I'm sorry," Tohru reassured. Shigure sniffed, then smiled.

"It's alright, Tohru, I'm just teasing them so they'll feel bad," he said with a grin. "Anyways, who are you going to use as your role model?"

Tohru's lower lip shook. "I-I don't know. But we have to pick someone by tomorrow or sensei will fail us!"

Shigure perked up. "Sensei? You mean MAYU Sensei?"

Tohru shrugged, and Shigure did his classic evil giggle again.

"Maybe one of you should bring me in."

Everyone stared at Shigure creepily, then decided not to ask because knowing Shigure it was definitely something stupid and they had much things to do like eat and sleep and knit and go off-road tooth brushing. Heh heh, that's for you, Adie.

"WELL, I'm going to take a bath!" Shigure said randomly, grabbing a stack of magazines and waving them off.

Suddenly, Hatsuharu broke down the door and walked in, followed by a perky Momiji garbed in tons of bunny… garb.

"Helloooo, everyone!" he yelled as Tohru ran to go find the toolbox.

"Momiji! What the beepity beep is your beepity beepin' problem? Beep!" Kyo shouted. (I have censored Kyo's swearing, as no one likes to hear that).

"Kyo hit me!" Momiji yelled, and everyone ran to his aid.

"Why do you always DO that!?" Kyo shouted. "I'm in my bedroom, I couldn't possibly hit you!"

"Kyo, you should apologize!" Tohru cooed, rubbing Momiji's head.

"For crying out – OW!" Yuki came and bopped Kyo on the head. "What the BEEP was that for?!"

"For hitting small children. Get a hobby," Yuki muttered as he walked by. "Well, it's started acid raining, so we can't go anywhere. I'll go put the radioactive seal on the roof so our house doesn't burn down."

"Ooo, I wanna go run and play in it!" Momiji cried, but Hatsuharu pulled him back.

Suddenly, Rin drove her car in through the side of the wall, which somehow hadn't burned in the acid rain storm, and then she –

Wait a minute! This story is getting way too out of hand! Focus, me, focus!

Sister: Are you talking to yourself in the middle of story?

Me: Shut up!

Anyways. Back to work.

"'**Thanks, Momo! I owe you a barrel of apples!'"**

As the acid rain continued to fall from the sky (by the way, Rin really never did crash in through the side of the wall), the foursome ate cookies and drank cider and talked about career day. That's more like it.

But oh no! Now we've reached the end of the chapter and we've barely gotten anywhere! Boohoo! Stick around for chapter two!


	3. Visit from Rin and some more Randomness

**In the last chapter, I accidentally said to stick around for chapter two when that really WAS chapter two. My bad.**

**Chapter three is up. I just posted my story, but nothing came up!! It still says there are 11108 Fruits Basket stories when really there should be one more! Oh, woe is me! Woe is me that I seem to be talking to myself! Well, without further ado (in case someone DOES read this)…**

"'**Hey, this is some pretty good rope!"**

Chapter Three:

"If I were you guys, I'd do Hatori!" Momiji cried. "He may be quiet and reserved, but he always looks at me and stuff and asks me if I'm okay!"

"You're never okay, squirt."

"Kyo hit me!"

WHAM.

"I DIDN'T **DO** ANYTHING!"

"Stupid cat."

"What is wrong with beep everyone?!"

"You should do Hatsuharu, Tohru!" Momiji cried yet again.

"Hmm… me," Hatsuharu mumbled. "Of course, I don't really have a great history with the teachers."

"Well, I would, but I really haven't known him for that long," Tohru admitted sadly.

"How about your grandpa?!" Momiji cried again again.

"Well… he's still bedridden. I don't want to make him do too much," Tohru sighed.

**This story isn't funny enough. I need some funny. Maybe Rin SHOULD drive her car through the wall. Heh, why not.**

Rin suddenly drove her car through the wall to avoid the acid rain. She walked out as casually as if nothing had happened.

"Yo. They let you out of the hospital," Hatori noticed.

"Wow, Rin! That was so reckless!" Momiji laughed. Tohru rolled around in a little ball whispering humina, humina, humina.

"Indeed," Rin muttered. "Tohru, I want you to make me some more Jell-O."

"Ah, so that's why you're here." Tohru got out of fetal position and walked over to the cupboard to make some more.

"That's a pretty stupid reason," Kyo said, coming downstairs. Then he freaked. "DUDE! You crashed a hole through the wall! Have you no dignity?!"

"Hmm." Rin sat at the table next to Hatsuharu. "Not really."

"They shouldn't have let you out, gosh darnit!" Kyo yelled in swear form. "Shigure's gonna take money out of MY piggy bank again to pay for this!"

"I didn't think that was my problem."  
"Sure as heck it isn't! Not NOW." He blinked. "But your car is broken. THAT'S your problem."

"No, it's yours. This is Kagura's car."

Kyo blinked, twitching.

"She followed me all the way here, as a matter of fact. I'll tell her you're here."

"NO PLEASE!" Kyo ran away up to his room, but a certain black-haired one had already seen him and ran at top-speed to tackle him.

"Kyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyo-kun!" she giggled, hugging him around the waste. Rin and Hatsuharu both ate cookies as if nothing had happened, and Momiji stared at everyone, clueless. And so began the return of the fetal position.

**Perhaps this fic is too random. Let us get back to career day now, shall we?**

Everyone crowded around the kitchen table, still drinking cocoa and eating cookies. They were trying to decide who Tohru would get for career day, which somehow ended up being a game of truth or dare match, and then got back on subject.

"So, Tohru… What kind of people do you idolize?" Kyo asked, spitting out a couple of nails. The world may never know what Hatsuharu dared him to do.

Tohru took a box of pears off of her head. "Hmm… Well, my favorite hobby is cooking. Maybe I can idolize someone who has a certain career?"

"Naw. The teacher won't let you do someone you've never met before," Kyo stated. "Hmm. Iunno. You're on your own."

Tohru sighed. "Perhaps I should just call my cousin."

**Hmm. What is her cousins' name? Think, me, think.**

**Sister: Dude, you gotta stop talking to yourself.**

**Me: Nobody asked you!**

**Hmm again. Well, I've forgotten, so we'll just call him Mickey after our favorite mouse. Unless your favorite mouse is Jerry. Whatever. Deal.**

"But don't you hate your cousin?" Hatsuharu asked, eating some more cookies. "Yum."

"Ah! Of course I don't! B-But… I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me."

"You should talk to Sensei," Yuki told her, his clothes rather holey from the acid rain. "Perhaps you can do some of the staff members or something."

"I-I guess so."

…

**Well, that's the end of the chapter. We have a little extra space, don't we? Hmm. That's your problem buster! Because now I can ramble on with whatever I want to. (BTW, I try and make every chapter about two pages on the word document). **

**La la la la la al alalalalla lal al lal all dsjkfas;dfjsdkfjs k zomghijklmnop. **

**Adieu. **

**-Author formally known as banana's sister**


	4. I Forgot to Give This a Name

**I'm sorry about my random ramblings. I was by myself for quite sometime and then I let my sister read this story. She was quite a bit weirded out by my little A/N's. But I've been a bit sick lately and that's the reason why I WAS stranded here tonight, so you have to deal with me.**

**Chapter Four is on the way! BTW, this entire story is based off of something my sis and I made up last night. Basically, I had a lazy day (besides playing with racecars in the park don't ask) and had nothing else to do (except for study, but who wants to study?)**

**I'm sure you don't care what I have to say, so onward and forward!**

**"'I'm not going to pretend I didn't see that.'"**

Chapter Four:

The next day, Tohru got ready for school, as usual, and prepared a huge breakfast consisting of every food known to mankind. This would have impressed any NORMAL people, but the Sohma family was used to Tohru's cooking sprees and took it in as easily as if it wasn't there at all.

Shigure got up first with a yawn, as usual. It was still pretty early, and Shigure didn't have a regular sleeping schedule and it wasn't unnatural for him to get up even a few hours earlier.

"Ah, Tohru. What are you doing up so late?" he asked as he sauntered in.

"Oh, well… It's not late, Shigure; it's five in the morning."

Shigure yawned. "Oh. Silly me." He picked up some bacon and started gnawing on it. "Have you decided who you're going to do for Role Model Week?"

Tohru sweatdropped. "Erm, I'm going to ask Sensei at school today."

Shigure's eyes shined. "Oh, may I come with you, Tohru? In case they need a guardian to sign something?"

"Oh, please, don't trouble yourself!" Tohru cried, knocking over some eggs and totally not getting the picture. "I'm sure that I'll be fine."

Shigure looked distraught. "Boohoo. If you say so."

Kyo was next to wake up. The hole in the wall, about eight by ten feet, stared back at him, and he walked through it angrily. Somehow, Shigure had failed to see it. **(As in previous stories Adie and I (my sister, sorry) have made up, Kyo had gotten angry and seceded from the family. His idea of seceding is sleeping in a tent outside, but that's pretty much all he does out there. So it's not really seceding. He just sleeps in a tent). **

Kyo immediately started eating and talking to whoever decided to listen, which really wasn't anyone. "After we tell Sensei who we're doing, we're allowed to go, no school day." He whapped Shigure on the head to get his attention. Shigure's head was numb from all the whapping, so he barely noticed but looked over. Kyo pulled out a fairly large packet of papers. "You need to sign this. 'Says I can do Role Model Week and what not. I already have Shishou's signature, so sign there."

Shigure crossed his arms and looked away. "Make me."

"WHAT?!" Kyo fumed. "Look, Shigure – it doesn't work that way!"

Shigure giggled. "Ah ah ah! I'm your parental figure; it works any way I want it to."

"GRRRRRRR!" Kyo nearly ripped the packet in half in anger. "Come on, you stupid BEEP! Sign there or you'll never see your precious head again!"

"Oh, wah, you put up a good argument." Shigure signed sadly. "Darn. I wanted to keep you going at least until you had to leave for school. Poo."

Kyo's temple throbbed but he decided not to bother Shigure anymore. He stuffed some kippers into his mouth. Ew, kippers. Only Kyo could eat those. Yuki came out of the shower and downstairs (yes, for all of our sakes, he did dress first). He stuffed some cheese into his mouth. Yum.

"Shigure, can you sign my packet, please?" he said as he came in, slipping Shigure the packet.

**Yargh. Needs more random again. Let's finish this part and I promise it'll be more funny-ish.**

Shigure considered tricking Yuki but was afraid of getting his head ripped off. He had just noticed the hole in the wall and assumed one of them had done it. Luckily, he didn't notice the tire tracks all over the floor. He signed reluctantly, picked up some magazines, and went back to the bath.

"Who are you doing, anyway, Yuki?" Tohru asked as she sat down to join them for breakfast. It was 7:30 now. 7:30? Wow. Time flies when you're talking about kippers. And other various stuff.

"I chose Hatori. He said I shouldn't do anyone outside the Sohma family, so I thought I'd do him and get it over with. Besides, I have no idea who I idolize. None of them are really close to me, anyways."

Tohru seemed slightly interested. "You want to be a doctor, Yuki?"  
Yuki scowled. "Uh, no. Frankly, I have no clue WHAT I want to be and this project is pretty stupid within itself."

"I couldn't agree more," Kyo said.

…

AWKWARD.

"I MEAN I couldn't DISAGREE more!" Kyo shouted suddenly. "I mean I don't want to do it it's dumb but agree with him is like… But I mean… It's like… Meh… Cheh… Seh… MUSTARD!" Kyo screamed and stomped off.

"MUSTARD! Omigosh, THE MUSTARDS BURNING!" Tohru yelled, reminded by Kyo's spastic attack and ran off to the kitchen. Poor Yuki, all alone, each cheese.

Tohru came back in. "Whew. That was a close call. Well, Kyo already left for school… So I suppose we should get going!" Tohru said suddenly.

Yuki sweatdropped. "Why were you cooking mustard…?"

Tohru blinked. "I wasn't cooking mustard."

_Okay, you know what, I'm done and I'm not going to ask anymore. _Yuki picked up his bag. "Yeah, let's go. And get this dumb thing over with."

**Well, Chapter Four wasn't bad, eh? At least I got in some randomness at the end! Hope you're enjoying so far. Chapter five tomorrow, I'm sure!**

**-Monkeybait's sis**


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